Time travel across Washington Swamp

It looks like leftist forces, without question, represent a much more advanced civilization than the unwashed Trump supporters.  Apparently, nowadays, intellectual superiority lies with the knights of social justice, commissars of post-Marxism, and neo-Maoist intelligentsia.  We were all not fair-minded when we said that Americans’ new generation didn’t contribute anything to human, huwoman, and huit civilizations.  We complained about the Soros-Jugend folks using cell phones, computers, and the Internet invented by previous generations. 

However, the well-educated anti-Trumpist intelligentsia has, beyond any reasonable doubt, demonstrated a remarkable ability for time travel.  Ladies and gentlemen, we were wrong, period. 

Firstly, the 2020 presidential election results in some Democrat-controlled states violated previously-fundamental (and now debunked by coterie fact-checkers) laws of physics.  Thousands of snail-mailed ballots were received even before they were officially sent out.  Thus, the 2020 election not only instantly cured America of the Trump-is-Putin’s-marionette psychosis but also showed first confirmed evidence of the possibility of time travel.

Secondly, Democrats also revealed that they are gracious, generous people.  Without hesitation, they shared their extraordinary discovery with Republicans – what noble a gesture!

Equipped with this new technology, Republicans were able to pull off a previously unheard-of trick.  On or around New Year’s Eve, they traveled into the future and got excited by Trumps’ speech on January 6th, 2021, to an unbelievable degree.  Then, they came back to 2020, and returning the favor, Republicans informed Democrats about the coming riots. 

In response, the grateful and euphoric Democrats began planning for the Capitol riot about a whole week before the speech in question.  They declined all requests for increased security for the January 6th event to not bend the cause-and-effect relationship. 

As a result, brawl at the Capitol commenced even before Trump began his speech.  Who needs to wait until the end of the exhortatory speech if its content has been known in advance? Of course, the events of January 6th, 2021, would not have happened if the dim-witted masses did not get foreknowledge of it by utilizing the Democrats-supplied time machine.  After a quick initial assault by veritable far-left activists was suitably filmed and pedantically documented, Capitol Police, far from quivering in terror, warmly invited the attackers inside and showed them the way.  In the end, it was practically non-destructive mayhem, unlike all the previous Democrat-organized “mostly peaceful protests.”

It’s not clear how the FBI got word – via informants or thru time travel too.  Still, several law enforcement units dressed in full riot gear were spotted in the morning around the Capitol, long before Trump’s speech; the units were quickly removed thou when the Capitol building’s perimeter was breached.

Lastly, security cameras around the Capitol building detected a guy who planted pipe bombs one day before Trump’s speech.

In conclusion, Democrats did everything possible to succeed; they even supplied a group of adequately equipped, riot-tested agents-provocateurs.  However, shortly after the disturbing events, when Congress was forced, albeit briefly and unintentionally, into the position envisioned by the Founding Fathers – the position of being afraid of American citizens – the time machine apparently broke.

No longer backed by the time machine, Democrats immediately shifted into a clueless mode.  Without the hindsight of the future and foresight of the past provided by time travel, the narrow-minded Democratic gerontocracy swiftly impeached Donald Trump for a second time, incriminating him with something concocted by their own paramilitary wings.  Nobody was brave enough to warn them that freshly created precedent will require a mere couple of hours to impeach any future president without any hearings and witness testimonies.  Effectively, they paved the road to all previous, present, and future Democratic presidents’ impeachment by the very first coming Republican-controlled House.

Without a time machine, nobody can say for sure what exactly we are witnessing here.  Have both the Democrat and Republican parties depleted their systemic resource? Either the Democrat-induced reductio ad absurdum was the ultimate goal, or, more probably, daunted commissars simply overplayed their hand, as usual.

[Originally published at NOQ Report]

5 thoughts on “Time travel across Washington Swamp”

  1. Mark, historical leaders, which, we were told even on these pages, Trump was, managed exactly the odds you mentioned as excuse for his defeat by his enemies. [Notice: I did not say HIS FAILEURE – I still see him as a successful President but, that’s a different topic.] Who – from Alexander the Great to Genghis Khan to lenin to stalin – had unanimous support from his surrounding? Maybe Lincoln? hitler? That’s exactly how they all won: eliminated their enemies!!! Lincoln famously turned them into his friends. The others mostly killed them. I am not saying that Trump should’ve dug Lubyanka dungeons under the White House – there are less bloody ways in the modern world.

    Allow me to use your two examples: Ryan and McCain.

    First, let me assume that if you, me, and by my last rough count 50 million of other people knew what kind of scoundrels both of them were (one of them still is) Trump SHOULD’VE known that better then us. Within the first 48 hours of his presidency Trump should throw a magnificent party on the South Lawn with the huge banner “Paul Ryan’s Medical Plan!!!”. Well, that probably would be not a party but the offer of such party to the culprit of the celebration. Follow my line of thinking? Can you guess what Trump would be able to do to Ryan after that sleazeball admits that he was lying for eight years, and by doing that basically paved the way for obamacare? Hanging that over his head the President could’ve either quietly blackmail him into total obedience or, dethrone him and get much more cooperative Speaker.

    Within the next 48 hours I’d invite McCain to a friendly dinner – offering him an olive branch. Highly publicized by the media. At that dinner, for desert, I’d show the guest the testimonials of the witnesses and maybe even recordings of our “hero” broadcastings on Viet-Kong radio, which are well known fact. Where could’ve Trump get them from? That is called a “homework”. Knowing that McCain’s gonna be a formidable enemy Trump should turn upside-down every archive and library but find them. That’s why I said it might take 96 hours in total – a bit longer than with the first one – but that time and a few hundred grand could’ve bought every book-rat in Pentagon archive. Give me your guess: would exiting that dinner to the eager cameras of waiting media our two diners be hugging each other or the guest would be kissing the host’s ass?

    Can you dig up similar scenarios for Sessions, Comey, Roberts, McConnel, and any other mothefucker who stood on his way? I can’t but, the historical leader with Presidential powers and Trump’s money should!

    Mark, how many times we were told that Trump is genius chess player winding his strategic games many moves ahead? I play chess at the level of a middle school chess club. I bet you I’d beat Trump. Alas…

  2. How come Trump wasn’t considering such a betrayal? It’s so obvious that Dems were going to use any opportunity to create havoc in Capitol…

    1. No doubt, Trump’s die-heart supporters will throw hard objects in my head, but events of January 6, proved his total inability to think at least two steps ahead. I voted for him twice and would be happy to do it five times, but I am realist and do not suffer with the cult of personality blackout. The whole Trump presidency was chaotic, poorly planned, based on his day-to-day whims. All post-election travesty was just a swan’ song.

      1. When a country elects a president, his party unites around him and helps to implement his agenda. This time the majority of the party leaders united against him and worked hard to torpedo his proposals, like Paul Ryan and McCaine successfully did.

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